Fear

I've been thinking about fear a lot lately. How fear can be a healthy and wise thing - but also a potentially dangerous thing - when it comes to movement. 


I've spent a lot of my working life in educational settings where we helped people face and overcome their fears of any number of things - including heights, climbing, confrontation, facing an attacker and fighting back... In the environment of a supportive and enriched educational setting, people grew in both skills and confidence - and their level of fear transformed into more of a sense of awareness and alertness - and readiness to respond appropriately to the situation - with skills they had learned and practiced - and to trust in their ability to figure things out.


I came to those work environments through my own personal experience as a student - having had the opportunity to face my own fears and anxieties and work to overcome them. I now see those kinds of situations, where there's a goal I want to achieve - but that I'm also afraid of - as the stuff of life. The way I grow. I know that by taking my own small steps and being consistent, I'll get there eventually. 


And now I'm a student of flying trapeze. And trampoline. And scared again. Of different things to some extent. There's the physical reality of learning how to move in new ways, twisting and turning and landing on my back. But there's also the fear of comparison. Am I growing and learning as fast as the person next to me? How do I measure up? 


In the learning environment I'm in, where there's someone there helping to keep me safe - with a belay, with a spot, by making sure my progression is appropriate to my abilities - there's room to work on fear. Especially if I admit that it's there.


This is important because at least for me, fear can cause me to rush - or to hold back at the last moment, or change my plan in mid-air. That lack of conviction and belief that I will do what I said I would do - is potentially dangerous. And...of course, knowing that breeds more fear. Which makes me more likely to make the same mistake again.


For now, I'm focusing on small steps. Expanding my comfort zone inch by inch. And I've decided not to compare myself to others. I'm working on what I'm working on and I'll get there when I get there. The important things for me are to keep trying, be honest and real and enjoy the learning process. I'm a lot safer that way.