Empowerment and Fear

For me, being a personal trainer and teaching group exercise classes is about empowerment. My goal is to help people understand themselves better and learn how to move more efficiently and effectively. 

My time in the industry has been rather brief so far - just four years. But that follows almost 20 years of adventure-based and experiential education and about 10 years of clinical social work. In those fields, empowerment is the focus: helping people access and build on their strengths.

We say that empowering others is our focus in the training field as well, but sometimes I see other motives coming into play. There are all sorts of reasons for this, but, from my perspective, diluting our motive threatens the effectiveness and honesty of our work.

One way that our motives can get clouded is by fear.

Fear that there will not be enough money
Fear of making a poor decision
Fear of competition.

There are likely many other fears as well, but these are three that come to mind for me.  

For gym owners and managers, giving in to that first fear (that there will not be enough money) can affect their policies for managing personnel and distract them from listening to members (without whom there would be no business). As a trainer, fear that there will not be enough has always led me to greater stress and lower self-confidence. I have learned not to give energy to this fear and instead put my focus on my work.

I still struggle from time to time over fear that I will make a poor training decision. But over the years, the biggest lesson I have learned is to trust my instincts. I am not perfect, and I will sometimes make a mistake, but if I approach my work cautiously and with respect, continue to learn, access all of my senses (including intuition), and really listen to my clients, I am putting myself in the best position to make good decisions.

The last fear: fear of competition, is a tough one. With all the messages I can infer from media these days about how perfect I am supposed to be and how everyone else is having a fabulous time while I'm trudging through the trenches, it's easy to succumb to a belief that others are better than I am and that they will usurp whatever small piece of the market I have. However, I have found that for the most part, we are all in the same boat together. Trainers that I have come to respect focus on learning from and helping one another. As a result, we all benefit and can do our jobs more effectively.

I try to check in with myself when I sense that I'm giving in to fear. It usually shows up as anxiety and I feel a little "off." At those times, I try to stick close to nature and take in the sounds and smells of my surroundings. I also pray to be at one with my higher power and to not let my ego or emotional confusion block that clarity. 

Using "Sex" to Sell Fitness

I just saw a class advertised as “sexercise.” What in the world is that? It looks to me like it’s a cheap way to try to draw attention to a class by using sex, once again, to SELL.

While having a healthy sex life and exercising on a regular basis each have a positive impact on our physical and emotional health, and they can certainly enhance one another, I think of them differently. For me, sex is something really personal and intimate. Exercise, while it can have its moments of closeness and a different kind of intimacy, is not the same thing. 

When sex is used to sell fitness, I find that the message actually cheapens both. Sex becomes a commodity rather than a connection, and fitness becomes something we do to make ourselves more “sexy” - therefore commodifying ourselves.

As a trainer, I hear daily about people’s dissatisfaction with their bodies. I do my best to help people improve their health and become more comfortable with themselves. For me, the beauty of a person is who they are radiating through the body they are in. So looks matter, but what really really matters to me is who’s inside.

So please, don’t try to sell me fitness by confusing it with sex. The two are different things. I will go to the gym or work out wherever I choose and feel good about myself, my body and my experience. When I choose to have sex with someone, I will do that on my terms - far out of sight of any marketing person!

How Hard Should I be Working?

How Hard Should I be Working? (Part 1 - Philosophy)

Practicing my front kickthrough!

I believe we all know where our challenge level lies. That place where we feel right on our edge - like we can still accomplish what we are doing, but it feels a little bit scary, a stretch to complete, but we can still do it.

That’s the place you want to be in most of your workouts. If you challenge yourself less than this, you are merely going through the paces - which sometimes is ok. It’s ok to take it easy and just have a relaxing run or spend some time lifting weights because it feels good. These are “recovery workouts” where you return to your comfort zone to refresh and restore. Conversely, if you push too hard, you run the risk of injuring yourself. I’ve done this numerous times - ignoring that little voice in my head that says “stop” because I want to reach a certain number of reps, or a certain speed, or worst of all, show off for someone! Next thing I know, I’m hurt. Again.

So how hard should you push? Exercise should be engaging. You are training your mind, body and soul as you move. You have the opportunity to form new neural pathways as you challenge yourself in different ways, creating opportunities for your body to continue to develop and for your movement to become more efficient. As you build your skills, things that used to feel difficult will start to feel effortless. That’s when you up the ante and try something new that challenges your edge.

Try to get the most from your workout - not by pushing past the point of pain or where your body wants to stop - but rather by training smart. Focus on your craft. Find your learning edge and push gently at it. Be consistent in your practice, changing the variables when things start to feel “easy,” learning from your mistakes and reinforcing your successes.